using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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