you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
