I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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