@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
its liver damage thursday
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