Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
