i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
