in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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