Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
