I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
