That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize