Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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