Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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