if i can run in heels then i can drive
im about as happy as oj after his trial
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
