I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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