Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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