The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
