Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
