That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
