just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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