great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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