Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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