New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
