Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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