I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
