Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
