I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
