She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
