whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
