apparently the secret to your success is patron
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
