just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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