Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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