You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
