How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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