at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I will pee on everything he values.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
