Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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