i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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