We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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