Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
