Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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