It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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