IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
