if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
