He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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