I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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