You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize