My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
