My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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