And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
