i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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