i don't like sucking hair
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize