I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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