I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
